Dear Everyone,
I really hate slums, not the bad suburb slums but I suppose you call them ruts, slumps, or a bad day. But the day God chose to set aside as the one where I did nothing productive despite the mountain of unfinished work I had to do. I call her a bitch, but she's probably better known as Fate. Re-reading Macbeth with his battle of Fate vs. Freewill made me realize that thing happen for a reason, not to piss me off, not to make other suffer but for the development of ourselves. Everyone knows that our time no this Earth is only s shadow on the light of time. That we're gone in a second without second thought and all that we lived for is forgotten, like the weekly break between 'Desperate Housewives’. Only to be revisited through YouTube or the ceremonial reminders at the start of each episode.
I yearn, I pine, I perish through my life, enduring heart ache, loneliness and my increasing fear of balloons, (ironic I know, but think of it like Batman), all but to be a permanent shadow on this world. To be remembered, but legacies aside we are nothing without the memories and experiences we had to shape us to what we are today.
I search for happiness but I only remember how it felt to be let down, to be hurt. How come? That and what's it like to die are the 2 questions I want answered. But until then I scar myself with the daily reminder to turn all that pain & suffering into motivation, to push me for better and stronger. And hopefully one day big to cast a shadow, but not over anyone I hope.
Rather now than forever.
Mr. Ryan
