Any Other World

Dear Everyone,

ID, short for 'identification'. It's a cheap little card that society uses to tell other who we are and that we are you we say we are. But who are we really? When do we start as we? From birth? A traumatic experience? Or what a piece of plastic says? Someone once told that every 7 years a person changes completely. Of course my friend took this a little too seriously on his 14th birthday he changed everything about him. Likes, dislikes, look, style and attempted to change his handwriting, even his friends.

But how can we be sure that all we love, like, dislike is what truly represents us, are we just empty beings that is filled with media, memories and the commercialized world of 'feelings'. I hope so, because I don't know what we would be without it. Before I came to this realisation I went through my memory bank to what changed me, the times I vowed to never be bad for my parents, to get good grades and change. The one memory with most hits in my mental search engine was when I was 11 years old and I was taken from my friends and normal life and shoved into another person’s life. I was told to change who I was to fit in, to be accepted and to be identified as normal by the people I wanted to be accepted most by, my parents.

I tried so hard to, to please them and others. Soon the theory of the 7 years came true. I was a cold bitter 13 year old. Of course this was pinned to puberty and as if that's not hard enough. But it wasn't all the physical, mental and emotional changes that made this so vivid in my mind, it was the fact that I felt I lost myself in this world and with myself went my innocence. Gone forever into the black hole of time. I haven't seen it since but I see it in others, hiding around the corner in the good deeds of those I watch.

Ever since I was little, when Innocence and I were good friend all I wanted was a best friend, we'd take adventure trips on the weekend, sneak over to each other's house when we needed to talk and tell each other everything. But as I lost contact with Innocence, it became more apparent that a person like was hard to find. They're probably out there somewhere but I can’t see them because what I want isn't what I want. I still need the wants of that happy 11 year old but I'm confused with the world that I tell myself I don't want that because then all the self therapy i put myself through would be wasted.

But I'm still looking for that person.

If you’re out there and see this message me, I'll be in any other world.

Rather now than forever.

Mr. Ryan